Through my eyes

Just to be with you, I'd do anything

2009-01-27T16:51:00.001-08:00

I absolutely love that song. (just to let you know.)

I really need to update this more often. Here's some more updates:

Musical: So I sing "Popular"..... that song is acutally a beast to sing. I really hope to get in shape before the musical so I can ham it up. So far I have enough awesome-ness to get my leg at a 45 degree angle on my body. :) The girls and I are also singing "Hard to Say Goodbye My Love". I've been asked to sing the part that goes "You know I'll always love you, you know I'll always care. And no matter how far, I may go, in my heart, you'll always be there." Now here comes the next section of my post......

College: So I don't know where I am going yet. But I'm feeling more and more drawn to West Virginia Wesleyan College everyday. Here's the thing..... it's 2 hrs. and 15 minutes away from home..... I'm so afraid. I feel God calling me there..... I just pray (I already know) that God gives me the strength to be so far away from home.

Health: I can't go into details, but I just ask for a lot of prayers. My parents and I will have to set another doctors appointment to figure out what out next plan is going to be.

Relationships a.k.a. love life: non-existant. end of story.

I'm watching "The Dark Knight". :) Soooooo off to procrastinate more!! :)

It's hard to say goodbye my love.....

2009-01-07T06:54:00.000-08:00

I stink at writing on this thing.

School: My officially senior feeling kinda went away since I have no clue what I'm doing after school. All I know is that I want to go in Elementary Education.

College: I didn't get into early decision for Grove City College. Although, I did get accepted into West Virginia Wesleyan College. WVWC offered my a $15,000 scholarship and will give me my masters in 5 years (instead of 6).

Life: My ex and I (obviously) broke up. Ha. Ya- it wasn't mutual, but I'll survive. I'm learning to trust God and to wait for God to move me in the right direction. I've been sick since Monday (today is Wednesday). I slept for 14 hours yesterday..... my fever was up to 102.6 for about 6 hours. I never actually threw up, thank goodness. But I'm missing school which makes me sick. I didn't want to miss school this year, but apparently this is crazy contagious..... I already got two others sick.

Blah. Off to take a shower.

It's been crazy long

2008-10-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that it's been so long since I last wrote.

I guess I should update.....

School:
So, I'm officially a senior! Haha. I was so excited for this day and now that it's finally here I want it to last. I can't think about leaving RTCS. It makes me incredibly sad...... so I won't think about it. So...... I did my senior project proposal speech and it actually went better than I thought it was going to be. I ended up getting an overall 95%. I'm soooooo happy!! We have no clue what we are doing for our musical this year yet, so I can't inform you about that. My extra corr. activities include....... President of Community Service, Secretary of Student Council, Musical, Vice President of Choir.

College:
I'm still planning on early applying to Grove City College. I'll find out if I got in December 15th. I got my ACT scores back and I got a 23..... which isn't that bad. Grove City wanted a 25 but I think it's pretty good. :) I tried my best and that's all I can do.

Work:
I have a job at my church. I work at a program called "After School" which is a tutoring service for kids with dysfunctional families. So far I've tutored mainly one kid, but I've been off and on tutoring about 5 others. I'm very happy. I'm tutoring Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays from 4:00pm-5:30pm.

Singing:
I'm having a really good time singing. Maria and I have been working and when I'm singing with her I seem to have a diaphragm..... I'm just trying to get enough self-esteem to do it whenever I'm doing my singing at different programs. I have a "gig" on Sunday October 12th..... it's for a party, and I'm really really psyched!! :)

Well...... I'm gonna call Anne and see if she wants to go to Olive Garden. <3

Ttyl!

Let The Games Begin!

2008-08-12T00:46:00.000-07:00

At 2:47am. AGAIN!

So, for the past 2 nights now I've been waking up again in the middle of the night. Seriously, when this happens I'm having the hardest time reading in the day. It like really messing with my stamina.

I really need a hug. =( This makes me extremely sad.

Good morning!

2008-08-06T02:25:00.001-07:00

And when I say "Good Morning", I mean "I hope you are sleeping well, but you'll need to get up in the few hours." Yes- back to waking up at 2am (mountain time). I think I'm catching on to a trend though. I think it's to do with stress. Last night I fell asleep after writing my last post which ending with "RTCS. =(" Let me explain.

RTCS- A place which I consider home to me. I seriously love that place, as I say almost in every post, it was placed in my life by God to save me. I'm watching my school fall apart this summer. I don't know what's going on but by the teacher's reactions, apparently it isn't going well. I want it to be there for me to graduation and to come back to. It really makes me upset. I'm going to try my best to help my school this year but there is only so much a senior with a senior project, president of Community Service, and secretary of Student Council can do. Not to mention about the musical. I really feel like God is trying to push me to help though.

Now, that is only one stress in my life. I had a fight with someone. Again, I really can't talk about it. But, apparently we didn't feel the same way about each other and that was a shocker. Everything is ok though. We are working it out.

The next thing that is bothering me, is.... well, the usual thing that it bothering me. Being accepted by Christ. My mom said something to me last night that really was nice. She said that Christ has already accepted me, I'm not accepting myself. Which..... made me start thinking. Again. If God has already accepted me, why can't I feel good about me? Chris (my psychologist) says that it's because when I got hurt when I was young I put limits on myself and some crazy standards. I am falling so far away just because I'm murdering myself with my own thoughts. (figuratively, of course)

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time. It's getting really hard for me to read my summer reading. I had planned to do my summer reading really early in the summer and have most of the summer just to relax. But then I got really sick on July 3rd. I didn't eat for a week and a half. I wasn't myself till around mid July and I'm really trying to be better now. It's really been a difficult summer for me but I know that through Christ I will be ok.

Prayers would be appreciated. I spend a lot of time everyday praying for strength and clarity. I don't need to be worried. I'm 17 years old and I'm healthy and I have a lot that others don't have. I should be ok. I started working out last night. I'm going to come back to school like this summer wasn't so horrible and come back stronger and ready to take this year on. I'm sorry I write for a long time. Though I think I'm the only one that reads this. Which is fine because I think this is kinda like therapy. <3 Lyss

My knee

2008-08-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

So- if you know me pretty well..... After AGG, I did some weird thing with my knee and I damaged my miniskiss or something like that. Well. It got better (obviously, because I can walk on it again) but once in a while it starts hurting again......

Now is the time.

Sharp pains that are in the inside of my knee are shooting. It's very painful and I feel like crying. =(

But that's not my only problem......

RTCS. =(

Trusting in God

2008-08-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

So, I just had a very..... interesting day. My sister and I sat in bed watching movies.... all day. Well, then it got more interesting. We went to a mexican restuarant..... I have an ulcer.... pain. Ok..... it gets better. A friend called me. Someone who I've pretty much have betrayed because I felt betrayed. I should'nt have been so upset without talking to her first. So, we talked and cried and to end the story we want to start a Bible study with each other every day when school begins and all so we can help each other be on track even though we are so far away from each other. I was stupid and we have forgiven each other and we are going to be better. Then!! Then it gets better!! Mrs. Struble is making a .25 or .5 credit music class!! EEK! It will be for juniors and seniors and we will look at more music for the concerts and work on some theory. =) I can't wait!! I feel so much better. I just need to get through these horribly hard books for summer reading. But ya, I know God is working in my life. Thank you for all the prayers. =)

Dream....

2008-08-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

I have the weirdest dreams.... ever. I had a dream that Jesus was on His cross. I turned my head for a moment and the next thing I knew He was floating up into the sky with the cross. I reached out and asked Him to take me with Him. He was floating to the sky (with His back towards me) He turned His head and looked over and said "7 days and 6 nights".

At that point, I woke up and had these weird chills going from my toes up to my head.

I can't win....

2008-08-01T03:59:00.001-07:00

Well, I was sooooo close of sleeping through the night. Two nights ago I only woke up 2 times and that was only for like 5 minutes each. I was soooo happy. Then last night I waited till I was completely tired and went to bed..... 6 hours later here I am typing on the computer and very very sad. I think what really bums me out about not being able to sleep well is that we are on vacation and everyday I seem to be a little on edge and taking naps and just in a zone.

We received really bad news last night that I really am not suppose to talk about but it has to do with some person, cancer, and chemo. Now, my mom, dad, and I volunteer at a Cancer Wellness Center up in Meadville and I know chemo works. I think the whole thing that scares me is that this person is gonna be so weak from it. I was talking to my parents last night about all these people I know who have died from cancer or are dying of cancer. They told me to put those people up to everyone I know. It isn't a lot. But it's like 5..... in the past year. Which is a lot to me. They were/are great people in my life.

I wish I was a child again. Like before I was hurt and felt pain for the first time. I didn't worry about death, or thinking correctly, or anything. I was innocent and now I have all these stains of what I've done all over me. I always remind myself that Christ died to clean the sins off His people. But there is something in the back of my head that says that why would He want someone like me. I know that we aren't perfect and we will never be but ya. I'm not sure. If anyone is reading this, please pray for me. I think I'm almost in constant prayer during the day.

This is getting to be pretty depressing.... let's talk about something that's happy.... Grove City College!! =) That always puts a smile on my face. Haha. I'm laying here right now with the laptop on my stomach and it being 5:12 in the morning with this smirk on my face. Nathan was telling me about GCC a couple days ago. Apparently, they give you a laptop and printer for 4 years, complimentary. That definitely put a plus to GCC. =) My parents tell me not to put all my hope in it. It's just a college where I feel maybe where God is calling me. I just pray that I can get accepted.

GCC Pros:
Christian School.
Specific majors (Early Childhood. Elementary Education.)
Laptop and Printer.
Katie, Nathan, and Andy go there already.
Touring Choir, (color guard??), Honor groups for Education (bucket load of them)
50 minutes from home.
Not in a city but not in the country.
Not the biggest school, but not the littlest school.
I met the president of the school at Kennywood and he's a great guy.
It seriously makes me smile just hearing the name.

GCC cons:
$$$$ It's not that much but it's enough to have issues.

Ya. That's all I can think of. And I sat here a couple minutes trying to think about the cons. When I thought about the pros they just came flowing from my mind.

My sister just woke up. Sometimes she only stays awake for like 10 seconds but during those 10 seconds it's the funniest thing ever. Like the other night, I was awake and my dad got up to get some medicine for his stomach. Britt opened up her eyes and looked at me and gave me a face like "I'm mad because I hear noise....". I think you had to be there but she cracks me up. She always gives me a confused face. Hahahaha. I love my sister. =)

Tomorrow, we are going to Sedona, Arizona. Which our next big stop. We are staying there for 6 days. This time it's all relaxation. At Yellowstone we were up and out and driving and walking. Here, it's laying out and reading and just watching God's work without rushing. Maybe my body will calm during this time and let me sleep through the night.... what do you think? It's worth a thought right? After Sedona, we are off to Branson (spell?) Missouri. BM has a show going on right now of all these new Broadway shows put into one show. I'm begging my parents into letting me go and watch it.

Oh!! That made me think! A few days ago we were in Cody, Wyoming and I wasn't in a good mood because of the lack of sleep and my stomach started hurting and ya..... it wasn't cool. But my parents surprised me and we went to an "old time picture" place. There was a pretty awesome set where there was a bar and we got into these "proper ladies" costumes and daddy dressed as a gangster. To shorten the story, after taking the picture we decided on 2 pictures. One of all of us smiling at the camera and one of all the girls pointing their guns at daddy and daddy having a shocked face on. My dad's face was priceless. haha. It was a little slice of theater which made me completely happy.

Which goes into the next thing I'll talk about. We are probably doing Godspell at my church. I may be co-directing with Jason (J-Dawg). John and Sondra will choreograph. The only problem that I see is that we did it when I was in 3rd grade. There were people in the cast that will want the same parts.... that will be a slight problem. But, my dad will be there to support me like he was in "Once Upon A Parable" and maybe if Jason casts with me then maybe some people will understand a little better. Jason is an actor in Pittsburgh. He usually works with Pittsburgh Musical Theater. So- his judgement is critical at times but it's really nice to have someone to help you. Jason has been working on my acting with me. It's really nice of him. Summer is his fiancee and happens to be one of my best friends. Summer and I have talked so much lately. She's another blessing in my life. She's 23, he's 37, and I'm 17. We are such a great trio. When I left church 2 Sundays ago I hugged Summer and I don't think I let go for a second. She's been there through a lot lately and I appreciate her so much. Summer and I teach baton and color guard on Thursday nights. It's pretty beast. =)

I swear this is like a remedy. Every time I type I feel so much better about things. I know I'm not the best writer. (I hear that alot.....) My tutor tells me not to write like I talk. But this is a blog not an essay for an application to a certain school ;)

Good night (or morning by this point) talk to you soon! =)
<3 Lyss

Guess what?

2008-07-30T02:32:00.000-07:00

I'm awake again. So- guess what I'm going to do..... leave another blog post. I'm thinking maybe talking about my friends and how much I appreciate them..... why?.... well, because I've just been a tad bit emotional lately and they seem to always be my slice of joy. =) (And the fact that I think about what Christ did for us and how He created a spot just for us.) <---- that gives me the most joy. =) So..... let's start. (These are absolutely in no order.)

Anne (O)- I totally love her because of her name. I guess I'm naturally drawn to Annes in my life. =p No, but seriously, she's been there for me since I was in 1st grade. She lives 13 houses away from my house so I'm able to call her up and we meet half way and just talk. Sometimes we meet in the night (not in the night, but pretty late) and we stand under a lamp post and talk..... I think sometimes we make people nervous. But even though I go through heck and back and come crying and scared and happy (you never know my moods.... =/ ) she's always there to talk to me. She always comes to my shows..... always. (And sometimes by surprise because she talks to my parents without my knowledge.) She's an absolutely great girl and I appreciate her kindness. I always will enjoy our annual Christmas get together (to make gingerbread houses and watch them fall down because we are inept.) haha. And mountain dew..... (her parents even bought the mini mountain dews because they knew that I couldn't drink the big kinds because I was a little girl. =) haha.

Ok.... that was pretty long..... maybe I won't talk that much. haha. ok.....

Ena- This girl is someone who I admire. I completely understand if you think that sounds odd, but it's true. She is a blessing in my life. We met when we were 4. Now, I can't say I remember her, because I don't. But, by the super power knowledge of my dad, I know that VBS 1995 we were constantly with each other and talking and playing. haha. =) When I came to RTCS I was really messed up. In soooooo many ways. Alena and her family opened their arms to me and I started living over Alena's house. We started praying with each other and our families joined as one. I'll always enjoy our krafts macaroni and cheese (because there's no other mac'n'cheese except krafts.) and our orange juice. =)

Jamie- Momma Charles. I seriously think Jamie is one of the ONLY people that can get me out of one of my moods and straighten me out. Haha. She is another blessing in my life. When I came to RTCS I shadowed Jamie for a day and (even though I was odd) she introduced me to people and talked to me. I could see how Christ shone through her. She has a servant's heart and I'm blessed to have her in my life. From shadow and shadowee to bosom friends, Jamie has always been there for me and I will appreciate everyday of my life. Jamie's love for music has also been another thing that I admire about her. She inspired me to go back to piano and through that I have found that I really find God through all my music. (Even though my rhythm.... well, stinks horribly....) Through her music and photography you see God's work being put into well use and helping to make followers of Christ. I love Jamiejamiejme. =) And I appreciate her kind heart and her Christ like attitude and keeping me in line. =)

Miss Heather Peters- =) My mentor. Through 2 car rides back and forth from snow camp and some sarcastic-ness through a week, I had found a teacher and a friend that I could work with very easily. heh. =) I started working with her 5th and 6th grade class January of 2007. I admired the way that she handled her students and started coming more daily to watch and help as much as possible. (Sometimes, I would come in and grade papers and just listen to her different lectures to get some pointers of how you teach 2-different leveled classes.) My junior year I walked into the room after our first gym class and she asked me to tutor her class that year..... I stepped her up and asked if she would be my senior project mentor. I found no other teacher that I could work better with and she was such a Godly person in and out of the classroom that it was apparent that God sent her in my life for a purpose. Later that year, we began to go to basketball games with each other. She would do the score and I would be water-girl. hahahahaha. Now that I think about it, that's kinda really funny. haha. ok, sorry, back to the story..... I bought us like a 6 pound thing of swedish fish which we inhaled during the rides and during lunch breaks. =) She took care of me through out Anne of Green Gables and seriously, she's been like that big sister figure to me that Britt can't always fulfill because she's not home. I appreciate her sooooo much.

Ok, that was really super long, I think I got on a rant. =) It's cool, because it's technically my blog about whatever I want to say. (That wasn't suppose to sound mean, if it did then I am completely sorry.)

Christine- Christine is my friend who can completely understand me. I think that because she went to a public school and is still friends with a lot of people of the public school system, she can see what's really at my core. And if not, I tell her. haha. =) Christine and I are both very talkative and we stand up for each other like nobody's business. She stood right beside me (like my other friend also) when Sean and I were breaking up. She always told me if I needed her to say anything just to ask. I sometimes had to pull her back from biting his head off. Christine has grown so much since I first met her (and I did too). She's a beautiful young lady that I appreciate so much.

Brittany- Now, I know Britt is my sister, but she is my biggest fan and she's my bestest friend. She has always been there for me lately. When I was younger, I was kinda (well, you'll find out in my grad speech how bad......) messed up. I scared my sister away from me because I felt useless and went about and made friends with the wrong people and grabbed onto some of her friends to talk about things. Britt is completely unlike me. That frightened her so much that we really didn't talk for about 4 years. Through the help of my RTCS friends, I was put back together and last year my sister and I became so much closer and we are able to talk about anything now. We have been messing with my mom and dad this vacation and we watched 3 seasons of The Office together. It was definitely an ice breaker to this vacation. My sister is moving out in less than a month. I'm slightly worried that we will fall apart like we did (in a different way.) I will always appreciate my sister for her strength and servant's heart.

Sean- Ok, if you know me you are probably saying..... what?! I know. Sean and I met in 2005 and got together in mid 2005 and stayed together till late 2007. We both had our mistakes and we both had part in the reason why we broke up. But about 3/4 of a year later, we have sat and talked on many of an occasion and tried to figure out what we did wrong and how we can fix it so we can become better friends. He's there for me always. He's been praying with me constantly and together we are holding up a prayer group on facebook. (That no one writes on except for us) haha. See, I have to step up right now and say that everything that I said about Sean in our relationship wasn't everything. I never told the good of our relationship hence putting a bad reputation on him. He took me out of a really bad time in my life and I'm eternally grateful for everything he does. I appreciate him. And his mom.

Ok, well, I'm not really getting tired but I'm really straining to see the bright light of the computer in a pitch dark room. Sorry that this blog in extremely long. God bless everyone reading (and not reading) this blog. <3 Lyss

Senior Year

2008-07-29T03:10:00.001-07:00

So, I don't think anyone reads my blog, especially when I don't write for um..... almost a year. *shakes head* Where have I gone wrong? Well, things have definitely changed in the past year.

1- Sean and I broke up. The night before Thanksgiving..... ya. We were fighting constantly and I couldn't stand it anymore.

2- I spent most of my school year working on the musical "Anne of Green Gables". I am so happy about it. We all came together in that show and pulled it off. =) I ended up getting sick from like February to April. I have no clue what I had but I think it was a case of "stress". haha. I wouldn't have changed anything about the process though. It was such a great and growing experience. I learned that I needed to grow that backbone that Mrs. Shaw told me to grow (hehe) and stand strong even when I was weak. My favorite memory from the show was every night I would come out for my entrance through a quarter house. Well, the lights would be off, I would walk on the platform, hold onto the door knob, pray to God that He would be my strength and as the lights would go up I would say Amen. I swear, I felt calm and I had this overwhelming sensation that everything was going to be ok because God was there for me. =)

3- I started dating Mike. =) I've been dating him for 5 months now and I think we've only argued about like 2 little things. It's wonderful. He's a really great guy. In October, I was on my way to choir and I got a text message from my friend Nate that said "I love you."..... So, thinking "well, that's Nate for ya" I wrote back "I love you too Nate". He wrote me back saying that Mike stole his phone and wrote to me. Somehow I got Mike's phone number and I wrote "I love you" to him. He wrote back to me "You're fat". Well..... it went on from there. haha. But I was directing "Once Upon A Parable" later in October and I was having some grief with a kid who wasn't listening to me at all. I started texting Mike saying that I was upset and I couldn't find strength to go through rehearsals because this kid was taking all my energy out. He texted me back and wrote "Do you want to pray about it?" I was completely shocked. I kinda looked at my phone and said to myself "wait, Mike wants to pray with me?!" So of course I said yes. Well, we became prayer partners and prayed while Sean and I broke up and I was struggling near Christmas time. Around New Years I told him that we should make a New Years Resolution to become pretty good friends. Well, on Super Bowl Sunday we were texting each other and he was being funny and I told him "Jeez Mike, you're so funny, I really like you." or something like that. He wrote back "I like you more." Well, there you go. We started hanging out in groups then one night (March 1st) he pulled out his phone and played one of my favorite songs and asked me out. =)

4- I'm a senior!! And I've never been happier. And I've never been more afraid. I know where I want to go. I really want to go to Grove City College and I want to double major in Elementary Education and Early Childhood. But, it's a college that I don't get half off for being a PK (preacher's kid).... so I need to do some searching for scholarships. I'm struggling with the fact that my friends are going to Geneva and I'll be on the opposite side of Pittsburgh. Though God has been watching over me because Katie is going to GCC and so is my friend from drama camp Nathan. I just think that RTCS kinda has been my rock, it got me past a very scary time in my life, but am I ready to let it go?

5- I've been worried about death lately. I have no idea why. But I've just been thinking about it. I'm afraid that God is not going to accept me. Which is odd because I know I believe in Him and He is my Savior. I also know that He will judge me based on Christ's merits because Christ died for us. I've been struggling since I was 9 or 10 with this feeling like something was trying to confuse me about God. But there is no doubt in my heart that I believe in God. I haven't been able to sleep through a night for probably about 2-3 weeks. Actually right now it's 4:34am mountain time (where I am) and I've been awake since 2:30am mountain time. It's so hard because I wake up and I'm afraid but I know there is absolutely no reason to be afraid. I'm out in the west (Yellowstone) on vacation and I'm seeing God's work and it's absolutely beautiful. I don't know. If anyone reads my blog, please pray for me and for clarity. I'm looking forward to school and working on another show. I feel so close to God when I'm at school and with my friends.

6- I think I'm done. I'm getting tired again, thankfully. I promise to keep up to date. Or try my best.

Love,
Lyss

I finally figured it out.

2007-10-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

For everyone (I don't know if anyone does) but for everyone who has been reading my blog and have been praying for me (I know I've been praying a lot with my friends lately) but I want to say that it has worked, I have finally come to an understading that it's not God at all that is letting Mary Lynn die. He is right beside her.
Well. To let everyone know, she is coming to the Lord tonight. I have just recieved information from my father that the nurse said only a few hours till she passes. So, I ask once again that everyone prays for an easy passing and pray for her friends and family.
I have never seen a more faithful woman, in her days of dying rejoicing and singing. She was a soprano 1 and every time she opened her voice it would boom around the sanctuary. Once she got older her voice was softer and a little broken but she is still singing still trying to get up to the piano and sing. I can't wait for her voice to be restored and singing praises to God once she gets up to Heaven.
Well, I promised Mrs. Doyle that I would call her and pray with her if it was coming to an end. So, thank you everyone for listening to me.

Off to the Amish Country

2007-10-05T03:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated for almost a month so I figure I should start again.
I am about to leave to go to Lancaster for the next 2 days. We (my church and I) are off to see "In the Beginning" a musical about Adam and Eve. I'm pretty excited. It's just really early right now. Anyways, I have a question and if anyone reads this thing maybe you can answer this question. I have a lady in my church dying from Pancreatic Cancer and her days are now numbered. About a month ago we were told she had a month to live. She's getting worse everyday. She is having pain and sleeping more and more. I'm just really sad right now. It's really affecting me. I want to know if anyone would know why God takes a servant of Him and gives her a horrible last few days. I'm just really confused. So, any information would be great at the moment. Thank you.

Once Upon A Promise....

2007-09-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

There's a definite promise. I feel it in my soul. The Lord is bringing the cast together. It's looking so wonderful now. Sure there are some that just don't want to do it anymore and people that aren't sure of their steps, but I'm sure the Lord will bring it all together at the end. We were blessed by God to add another member to our cast. She is so adorable and sweet and she is willing to do everything. The feelings of being uncomfortable of telling them their blocking is really going away quickly. We figure that the show is actually going to be put back (which means forward.... I think) in the early weeks on November. The 10th at 2pm and 7:30pm and on the 11th at 10:30am for church. Having John (who has worked with us before in shows) and my father being the two male leads really helps me a lot. They give me wonderful suggestions that really put me on the right direction when I'm going down hill. I've started the last two rehearsals reading some Psalms to put a little devotion on each, because most of these kids aren't Christians and they live in a horrible neighborhood. So, I read yesterday Psalm 1. Today, I read Psalm 16. I thought todays selection was much better to go with what has happened in all our lives. One of our cast member's mother is dying and she has about a month to live, and this lady is a huge part of our church. It hurts all of us. Ya, so if everyone will keep praying, I'm sure this will turn out just fine and we will be able to get these kids into Church after the show is over.
=)

Well.... that went...

2007-09-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

pretty well. It was an hour voice lesson and the first 30 minutes she warmed me up and insulted my voice and how I was a young singer and she usually doesn't teach people so young. Which I think I understand. All and all. She was a nice person. The next 30 minutes consisted of her looking at my audition songs saying, how can you sing this, it's a grown woman's song. You're a little girl. But then I kept on singing and by the end she said "Alyssa, you have a beautiful voice, still undeveloped, but beautiful." So, I take the compliment and tell her that I was very glad I got to meet her and I met her next voice student, a kid from Point Park. I'm so scared of the auditions but she said because Aries (we are both Aries) are quick learners, and that I'll learn these well. I just hope she is correct. Well, thank you to all that took my nerves today and tried to calm them.
=)

Rutabega Sausages....

2007-09-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

Are you serious?!
Blueberry and Pheasant. Yum.

=(
Ucky.

I just need to talk....

2007-09-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

to let everything out that's inside of me, since this is a blog, and since I am a slightly emotional girl. (Which I am getting so much better!!) There isn't much in me that is burning at my soul but just a few things that I just need to write down. I guess it mostly has everything to do with school.

1- my love, tutoring- It's basically not there this year. I had 4 study halls at the B2SN and because I'm in AP Brit Lit, they took one away. Ok, I'm fine with that. But I had 8 Study Halls last year. 8. 8 hours of tutoring. 8 periods to help people out that really needed to be helped. I wanted to do that so much this year. SO MUCH. And now, it's taken away. I understand I will have a class one day and I will get to teach the kids, and I also know that my academics are important, but.... hold on, this is becoming a horribly run on sentence. Ok, now that's better. I really think that this tutoring will really do well on my transcripts when I try to find a job and show them that I am responsible. Well, at least next year will hopefully be much better when I'm doing my Sr. Project in teaching. That's going to be.... how do the French say it?.... trés amusant. Well.... something like that.

2- Classes- What is up with the sizes of the books this year? I swear, they took some steroid medicine or something and grew up to be 100 sizes larger. That is so annoying! Dragging your book bag home with 2 over 1,000 pages books and an Algebra 2 book and nothing else can you stick in your book bag so you have to carry the rest. But I have to say, it does really feel good when you bring all your homework home, and sit on a couch and just think to yourself as you are doing your homework. After you are done with all of it, you feel so accomplished. I know all of this will soon pay off. If I do well on my studies, I should do well on my midterms and finals, which will be nice on my transcripts, which with do well to get into a college, which will do well on getting a job, and which will help me teach kids with disabilities. All to honor God. Oh, if I haven't mentioned, and I don't think I did.... I finally figured out what I'm going to study in. Ready?..... A double major in Early Education and Special Ed. I always thought it would be great to be able to teach Special Ed, ever since I was in elementary school and was in a group that helped the mentally handicapped in gym class. =)

3- STRESS. - I totally need a stress ball. I'm not going to go into details with this one but yes.... I'm stressed. I'm trying to control it, it's getting better everyday. I'm beginning to get better at eating in the mornings again. I have only gotten sick 2 times since school started and that was on the first day. I just want to do my best in this school year. I'm so stressed that I can't think about what's happening now, all I can think about is what is happening next month or next year. I'm so stressed about everything, but I somehow found time to write my graduation speech. Ha ha. I'm so stressed about today, but I find comfort in thinking I will be doing a (hopefully more than) 25 hour senior project. I don't think those past 2 sentences made much sense, but in my mind they did, you have to forgive my horrible English.

4- Friends - I love my friends, someway I think of them as my sanity. And that's nuts because if you know my friends we are all somewhat insane. =) My friends and I are getting along pretty nicely this year but I'm not going to lie. Without R it feels different, and I know that I'm going to have to get used to it but ya. I just pray that everything feels better shortly. It's weird to look at the audition sign up sheet and not see her name on it. But praying that God will strengthen me through this will be helpful.

5- Once Upon A Parable - So two guys have dropped out and the cast is still barely making any noise out of their mouth when they sing. I'm trying to pump them up but being only a kid and not really knowing that much. I can't help them as much as I want to. I try my best to explain things to them. We have some of our props now and we are finally understanding the songs. We have only blocked 2 songs (maybe 3) and 1 scene. It's going slow and everything.... little by little..... is kinda (I hate to say it) falling apart. But there is a coming together part of this, everyone seems to be getting comfortable with each other. I need to remember that this is an amateur show, and that this is for the glory of God. If you could also pray for me about this too.

Well, I need to be done, this is getting ridiculously long. If you have made it this far, then thank you for listening to all my thoughts. =) It's is much appreciated.

My Magical Theatre Moment

2007-09-04T18:33:00.000-07:00

I have experienced it. I thought I had my first magical theatre moment when I was younger, but no. I had it tonight!

I was standing on a chair in the back of the sancutary in my church. I was staring at our platform where the minister stands and the choir loft. My friend Sam from my school was singing one of the songs from the show that I am directing called "Once Upon A Parable". He was singing a song called "Parable of the Vineyard". I gave him my solo when I found out I had to be the prodigal. That was the best decision of my life. So, he was singing and and the rest of the cast was silent and began singing after his solo was done and it was just a boom of voices. I was halfway in tears. It was so wonderful. It feels so great standing in front of everyone and them smiling at me and all of us knowing that this show is for the glory of God and not for ourselves. If anyone comes to see this perform and doesn't get even slightly moved, well.... then we must not have given out the message fully. But, ya, it's absolutely wonderful. God has given me so many challenges in this production and it has humbled me so much. Thank you to everyone that has been keeping up to date with me and praying for me. =)

Love.

The Ultimate Gift

2007-09-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

Let's start off with.... I love my sister. She came home for the weekend and we have been watching the TV Show "Charmed" and last night we watched "The Ultimate Gift". If you are unaware of this movie, it's about a young man that's grandfather died and he is somewhat rebellious and thinks that his grandfather left nothing to him. The grandfather gave him 14 gifts, each represented on the way to manhood. IE) Gift of work - He worked on a farm till he finished making a fence. So, one of the gifts was the gift of friendship where he had to make friends with someone in a month. He falls across this girl at the park and asks her to be his friend. Throughout this movie, they did intend to, but made wonderful friends with each other. He finds out that she has leukemia and she was going to die soon. She later dies and he becomes a man and the grandfather ends up giving him 200 billion dollars.... that's all very well, but there was something about that girl and what they talked about together that got me. I sounded like this....

They are in the hospital chapel. Jason is the man and Emily is the girl who has Leukemia. There is a statue of Jesus with his arms open.

Emily- something like.... "Do you know how scary it is to know you are going to die?"

Jason- Staring at the statue of Jesus. "I don't know too much about God and Jesus but I know those arms are for you."

Lately I've been having some bumps in my journey. IE) I've had to go to the doctors on Tuesday for something that really scared me and my mother. I know I'm too young to have the cancer we thought it could be but we wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. I sat there the whole time looking at my Christian doctors room saying "God, why can't I feel your presence?" I think that I'm asking, if anyone is reading this, if you could pray for me and if you know of any reassuring scripture passages that would be great. I'm praying continuously. Thank you for everything.

On one happy note.... there is a new couple in my church who are in different shows and are professional singers, dancers and actors. Their names are Jason and Summer. We've become friends and they have really been blessing in my life and have been supporting me in the church with singing and directing my show. Jason has today, said that if he doesn't get this job or if he does, he is going to try to be Judas in the show that I'm directing. It means so much to me. Summer is an absolute joy to be around and she wants to go into Public relations and is thinking about getting a job at the American Cancer Society. She has a heart of gold. I'm so lucky to know them. =)

The first weekend

2007-09-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

My first weekend being a Jr.... well, it's been quite the interesting one. Last night, I hung out with Chris over at the mall and got an outfit for Paul Wilson. I bought him a vertical stripped shirt with a hat that was really cute (and reversable). It was a grand time. So, I went and talked to R last night. I did pretty well, well.... till I was saying goodbye. Then I cried my little heart out. That girl really did a lot for me. I told her about my grad speech and how I already wrote it but when I'm talking about my classmates I am talking about her also. She and the Fab 5 have really brought me to Christ and it's been a great journey. So, I let her know that I really appreciate her and she walked me down to my car and we cried again and then left. I know that we are going to keep in touch all the time but it's so hard to say goodbye. I came home just to read about a paragraph in "Beowulf" and fall straight asleep. When I woke up this morning, Sean had asked me to go to brunch with last night so I woke up and got ready. We had a wonderful time, we went to a small cafe near his house and came back home and watched a movie and I took him to work. Now, I am sitting at my computer procrastinating on my homework with a horrible headache. I'm going to try to sit down and work, but I will write later.

The First day

2007-08-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hey All-
Today was my first day of my junior year. So, this morning I got sick twice due to all my nerves, I really need to learn how to chill. Today, my classes were really great. My first real class (2nd period) today was Algebra 2. I sat there, without one of my best friends Ariana. It was so weird. I felt horrible all day, I miss her so much. My third period class was US History, I felt so bored, I was tired and sick all at the same time. It really stunk. My fourth class was French 3- now that was somewhat glorious. There are 8 of us. All guys and then me, so Mrs. Gonter really takes me under her wing. I really appreciate her. After French was Chapel, which was really interesting, we heard all about everyone's mission trips, that sadly.... I never got to go on any this year. During lunch, I had to run to the restroom and only to almost get sick again. After lunch I had AP British Literature. I had a blast in that class. There were only 4 of us, but there will be 6. Mr. Stark is great and he's so funny trying to help an all girls class. I think we might make him a little anxious, but hey, he makes us anxious too. =) After AP Brit Lit, we went to Drama. I think Mrs. Boelcke (I don't know how to spell her name, but I think that's somewhat how you spell it), has a great grasp on all our attention and that it's going to be a good year. After theatre, I had Bio 2. Hahahahaha!! Mr. Wirebaugh.... he's amazing. We did a survey about our summer and then ordered 1-10 of the worst jobs out there. It's great. So, after I came home I did my homework and fell asleep for 20 minutes and got ready to direct yet another rehearsal for "Once Upon A Parable". It was fun, the cast has finally come together as one and really bouncing their energy off one another. It's a great feeling. Well, off to bed.
-Lyss