Just to be with you, I'd do anything

I absolutely love that song. (just to let you know.)

I really need to update this more often. Here's some more updates:

Musical: So I sing "Popular"..... that song is acutally a beast to sing. I really hope to get in shape before the musical so I can ham it up. So far I have enough awesome-ness to get my leg at a 45 degree angle on my body. :) The girls and I are also singing "Hard to Say Goodbye My Love". I've been asked to sing the part that goes "You know I'll always love you, you know I'll always care. And no matter how far, I may go, in my heart, you'll always be there." Now here comes the next section of my post......

College: So I don't know where I am going yet. But I'm feeling more and more drawn to West Virginia Wesleyan College everyday. Here's the thing..... it's 2 hrs. and 15 minutes away from home..... I'm so afraid. I feel God calling me there..... I just pray (I already know) that God gives me the strength to be so far away from home.

Health: I can't go into details, but I just ask for a lot of prayers. My parents and I will have to set another doctors appointment to figure out what out next plan is going to be.

Relationships a.k.a. love life: non-existant. end of story.

I'm watching "The Dark Knight". :) Soooooo off to procrastinate more!! :)

It's hard to say goodbye my love.....

I stink at writing on this thing.

School: My officially senior feeling kinda went away since I have no clue what I'm doing after school. All I know is that I want to go in Elementary Education.

College: I didn't get into early decision for Grove City College. Although, I did get accepted into West Virginia Wesleyan College. WVWC offered my a $15,000 scholarship and will give me my masters in 5 years (instead of 6).

Life: My ex and I (obviously) broke up. Ha. Ya- it wasn't mutual, but I'll survive. I'm learning to trust God and to wait for God to move me in the right direction. I've been sick since Monday (today is Wednesday). I slept for 14 hours yesterday..... my fever was up to 102.6 for about 6 hours. I never actually threw up, thank goodness. But I'm missing school which makes me sick. I didn't want to miss school this year, but apparently this is crazy contagious..... I already got two others sick.

Blah. Off to take a shower.

It's been crazy long

I'm sorry that it's been so long since I last wrote.

I guess I should update.....

School:
So, I'm officially a senior! Haha. I was so excited for this day and now that it's finally here I want it to last. I can't think about leaving RTCS. It makes me incredibly sad...... so I won't think about it. So...... I did my senior project proposal speech and it actually went better than I thought it was going to be. I ended up getting an overall 95%. I'm soooooo happy!! We have no clue what we are doing for our musical this year yet, so I can't inform you about that. My extra corr. activities include....... President of Community Service, Secretary of Student Council, Musical, Vice President of Choir.

College:
I'm still planning on early applying to Grove City College. I'll find out if I got in December 15th. I got my ACT scores back and I got a 23..... which isn't that bad. Grove City wanted a 25 but I think it's pretty good. :) I tried my best and that's all I can do.

Work:
I have a job at my church. I work at a program called "After School" which is a tutoring service for kids with dysfunctional families. So far I've tutored mainly one kid, but I've been off and on tutoring about 5 others. I'm very happy. I'm tutoring Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays from 4:00pm-5:30pm.

Singing:
I'm having a really good time singing. Maria and I have been working and when I'm singing with her I seem to have a diaphragm..... I'm just trying to get enough self-esteem to do it whenever I'm doing my singing at different programs. I have a "gig" on Sunday October 12th..... it's for a party, and I'm really really psyched!! :)

Well...... I'm gonna call Anne and see if she wants to go to Olive Garden. <3

Ttyl!

Let The Games Begin!

At 2:47am. AGAIN!

So, for the past 2 nights now I've been waking up again in the middle of the night. Seriously, when this happens I'm having the hardest time reading in the day. It like really messing with my stamina.

I really need a hug. =( This makes me extremely sad.

Good morning!

And when I say "Good Morning", I mean "I hope you are sleeping well, but you'll need to get up in the few hours." Yes- back to waking up at 2am (mountain time). I think I'm catching on to a trend though. I think it's to do with stress. Last night I fell asleep after writing my last post which ending with "RTCS. =(" Let me explain.

RTCS- A place which I consider home to me. I seriously love that place, as I say almost in every post, it was placed in my life by God to save me. I'm watching my school fall apart this summer. I don't know what's going on but by the teacher's reactions, apparently it isn't going well. I want it to be there for me to graduation and to come back to. It really makes me upset. I'm going to try my best to help my school this year but there is only so much a senior with a senior project, president of Community Service, and secretary of Student Council can do. Not to mention about the musical. I really feel like God is trying to push me to help though.

Now, that is only one stress in my life. I had a fight with someone. Again, I really can't talk about it. But, apparently we didn't feel the same way about each other and that was a shocker. Everything is ok though. We are working it out.

The next thing that is bothering me, is.... well, the usual thing that it bothering me. Being accepted by Christ. My mom said something to me last night that really was nice. She said that Christ has already accepted me, I'm not accepting myself. Which..... made me start thinking. Again. If God has already accepted me, why can't I feel good about me? Chris (my psychologist) says that it's because when I got hurt when I was young I put limits on myself and some crazy standards. I am falling so far away just because I'm murdering myself with my own thoughts. (figuratively, of course)

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time. It's getting really hard for me to read my summer reading. I had planned to do my summer reading really early in the summer and have most of the summer just to relax. But then I got really sick on July 3rd. I didn't eat for a week and a half. I wasn't myself till around mid July and I'm really trying to be better now. It's really been a difficult summer for me but I know that through Christ I will be ok.

Prayers would be appreciated. I spend a lot of time everyday praying for strength and clarity. I don't need to be worried. I'm 17 years old and I'm healthy and I have a lot that others don't have. I should be ok. I started working out last night. I'm going to come back to school like this summer wasn't so horrible and come back stronger and ready to take this year on. I'm sorry I write for a long time. Though I think I'm the only one that reads this. Which is fine because I think this is kinda like therapy. <3 Lyss

My knee

So- if you know me pretty well..... After AGG, I did some weird thing with my knee and I damaged my miniskiss or something like that. Well. It got better (obviously, because I can walk on it again) but once in a while it starts hurting again......

Now is the time.

Sharp pains that are in the inside of my knee are shooting. It's very painful and I feel like crying. =(

But that's not my only problem......

RTCS. =(

Trusting in God

So, I just had a very..... interesting day. My sister and I sat in bed watching movies.... all day. Well, then it got more interesting. We went to a mexican restuarant..... I have an ulcer.... pain. Ok..... it gets better. A friend called me. Someone who I've pretty much have betrayed because I felt betrayed. I should'nt have been so upset without talking to her first. So, we talked and cried and to end the story we want to start a Bible study with each other every day when school begins and all so we can help each other be on track even though we are so far away from each other. I was stupid and we have forgiven each other and we are going to be better. Then!! Then it gets better!! Mrs. Struble is making a .25 or .5 credit music class!! EEK! It will be for juniors and seniors and we will look at more music for the concerts and work on some theory. =) I can't wait!! I feel so much better. I just need to get through these horribly hard books for summer reading. But ya, I know God is working in my life. Thank you for all the prayers. =)