Good morning!

And when I say "Good Morning", I mean "I hope you are sleeping well, but you'll need to get up in the few hours." Yes- back to waking up at 2am (mountain time). I think I'm catching on to a trend though. I think it's to do with stress. Last night I fell asleep after writing my last post which ending with "RTCS. =(" Let me explain.

RTCS- A place which I consider home to me. I seriously love that place, as I say almost in every post, it was placed in my life by God to save me. I'm watching my school fall apart this summer. I don't know what's going on but by the teacher's reactions, apparently it isn't going well. I want it to be there for me to graduation and to come back to. It really makes me upset. I'm going to try my best to help my school this year but there is only so much a senior with a senior project, president of Community Service, and secretary of Student Council can do. Not to mention about the musical. I really feel like God is trying to push me to help though.

Now, that is only one stress in my life. I had a fight with someone. Again, I really can't talk about it. But, apparently we didn't feel the same way about each other and that was a shocker. Everything is ok though. We are working it out.

The next thing that is bothering me, is.... well, the usual thing that it bothering me. Being accepted by Christ. My mom said something to me last night that really was nice. She said that Christ has already accepted me, I'm not accepting myself. Which..... made me start thinking. Again. If God has already accepted me, why can't I feel good about me? Chris (my psychologist) says that it's because when I got hurt when I was young I put limits on myself and some crazy standards. I am falling so far away just because I'm murdering myself with my own thoughts. (figuratively, of course)

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time. It's getting really hard for me to read my summer reading. I had planned to do my summer reading really early in the summer and have most of the summer just to relax. But then I got really sick on July 3rd. I didn't eat for a week and a half. I wasn't myself till around mid July and I'm really trying to be better now. It's really been a difficult summer for me but I know that through Christ I will be ok.

Prayers would be appreciated. I spend a lot of time everyday praying for strength and clarity. I don't need to be worried. I'm 17 years old and I'm healthy and I have a lot that others don't have. I should be ok. I started working out last night. I'm going to come back to school like this summer wasn't so horrible and come back stronger and ready to take this year on. I'm sorry I write for a long time. Though I think I'm the only one that reads this. Which is fine because I think this is kinda like therapy. <3 Lyss